FEATURE STORY :

Shyness: Trait of the Week

Contributed by Guest Author and
Certified Handwriting
Analyst David Riffey, St. Petersburg, FL

Are you diplomatic, self-conscious or just shy?


While studying for Handwriting Analysis Certification, I did a written analysis for a young woman at work. After reading it she declared, “This is so me, how can you come up with all this?”

I told her that I look for handwriting traits that are known to relate to particular personality characteristics. In learning these traits it helps to understand how the mind forms them and reveals them in our writing. An easily understood trait is the height of the t-bar and it’s relation to self-esteem or self-confidence.

The height at which the t-bar crosses the t-stem is a measure of the degree of self esteem we have for ourselves. The higher the t-bar the more we like ourselves, and generally we will do better in life than someone with a low self-esteem. The lower the t-bar, the lower our self image and the more likely we will live with, and stay in, unhappy or unhealthy situations. The person with a low t-bar has a fear of change.

Why risk change if you think you can’t do better? Okay, these traits are pretty clear, aren’t they? The height of the t-bar correlates to the level of self-esteem.

Others are not so obvious. You’ll find two traits shown in the m’s and n’s which may seem unrelated: remember, opposite strokes do not always mean opposite personality traits. (Low t-bars vs. high t-bars have opposite meanings in relation to self-esteem. However, the opposite strokes in the m– and n-humps do not have opposite meanings on first look.)

Self-Consciousness vs. Diplomacy.

Self-consciousness is a fear of ridicule by others

Diplomacy is dealing with people so as not to offend them.

Self-consciousness is indicated by humps that grow progressively bigger in a stair-step fashion
as the letter is written toward the right. Diplomacy is written in lowering stair steps going to the
right. How do these relate? Directionally speaking, we know that anything in handwriting that is
going to the left is related to the self or to the past. Strokes going to the right represent the future or others.

self-consciousness

diplomacy

 

            self  <------------------->  others

As you look at these traits, realize that the self-conscious trait slopes down to the left. Diplomacy slopes down to the right. Diplomacy is the awareness of others. Self-consciousness is the OVER awareness of what others might be thinking. Thinking about these traits in this way allows you to understand that they carry essentially the same principle. The direction of the stroke, whether towards ourselves or toward others, is the difference.

Self-conscious people will frequently exhibit shyness in crowds, a reluctance to be in the spotlight,
or fear of talking to strangers. Traits such as “pride” and “sensitivity to criticism” will increase the
trait of self-consciousness. It seems heavy doses of alcoholic beverages reduce self-consciousness. (ha.ha.)

This graphic used with permission from the Level 301 CertificationLevel
Textbook, available only through Handwriting University’s Certification program.

Remember that seeing a stroke just once, doesn’t make it 100% prevalant in the person’s character.
That is why it is a good idea to get lots of writing, before being 100% conclusive.

Someone that has the ability to be diplomatic might never show it if they are impulsive,
sarcastic, angry at women (or men), and over sensitive. These “fears and defenses” overpower the trait of diplomacy.

Remember to STACK the traits for the most accurate analysis. If you need help learning to
stack traits, check out the latest Handwriting Analysis Advanced Course, now
shipping: handwritinguniversity.com/products/advanced .

Special Handwriting Sample:

Compare your writing to a successful Radio Host

Recently, I was faxed the sample below from a Radio Station on which I was being

interviewed. This guy, Matt, has the most unusual t-bars and y-loops I saw that day. You may recall that the t-bar indicates how high someone’s goals tend to be. In Matt’s case, the t-bar doesn’t even touch the stem. It flies way above the letter t. This indicates a tendency to be a
“dreamer” and “oversell” his ideas.

As if Matt’s goals are not in touch with reality. Luckily, Matt also has heavy handwriting (passion),
long t-bars (enthusiasm) and the double cross star stroke on the letter t (persistence)…these traits will
force him to achieve many of the goals other people consider unrealistic.

Also, notice the long lower loops in the y‘s and g‘s…this indicates strong physical energy as well as
strong sex drive. I guess you could say this guy really believes he could get a date with
Pamela Anderson! Ha. He has diplomacy and a huge sexual appetite.

http://www.myhandwriting.com/newslettersamples/100matt.html

Matt is a sharp guy, quick minded, and underlines his name (self-reliance) and his entire writing
tilts uphill…meaning he’s optimistic. I would hire him or bet on him…even though he is a dreamer.

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I remember my dad teaching me the power of
language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when
I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees,
poles, and literally hanging around upside down
from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came as
no surprise to my dad to find me at the top of a
30-foot tree, swinging back and forth. My little
eight-year-old brain didn’t realize the tree could
break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun
to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same
tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about
ten feet below me. Tammy’s mother also noticed
us at the exact same time my dad did. About that
time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could
hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to
sway. I remember my dad’s voice over the wind
yell, “Bart, Hold on tightly.” So I did. The next thing
I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of
her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen
out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later
told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently,
Tammy’s mother was not as an astute student of
language as my father. When Tammy’s mother felt
the gust of wind, she yelled out, “Tammy, don’t fall!”
And Tammy did… fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a
very difficult time processing a negative image. In
fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot
see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process
the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain
had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain
not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my
eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image
of me hanging on tightly.

This is why people who try to stop smoking struggle
with the ct of stopping smoking. They are running
pictures all day of themselves smoking. Smokers are
rarely taught to see themselves breathing fresh air
and feeling great. The language itself becomes one
barrier to success.

This concept is especially useful when you are
attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can’t
visualize not doing something. The only way to
properly visualize not doing something is to actually
find a word for what you want to do and visualize
that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I
played for my junior high school football team. I
tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn’t get it
together at that age. I remember hearing the words
run through my head as I was running out for a
pass, “Don’t drop it!” Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us
proper “self-talk.” They just thought some kids could
catch and others couldn’t. I’ll never make it pro, but I’m
now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player,
because all my internal dialogue is positive and
encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me
playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might
have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids
and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary.
Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them.
Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them,
“Okay, try to drop the pencil.” Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil
hit the floor. You respond, “You weren’t paying
attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please
do it again.” Most people then pick up the pencil and
pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries
but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will “give it a try,” you are
actually telling your brain to fail. I have a “no try” rule in
my house and with everyone I interact with. Either
people will do it or they won’t. Either they will be at
the party or they won’t. I’m brutal when people
attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they
think I don’t know they are really telegraphing to the
world they have no intention of doing it but they want
me to give them brownie points for pretended effort?

You will never hear the words “I’ll try” come out of
my mouth unless I’m teaching this concept in a seminar.
If you “try” and do something, your unconscious mind
has permission not to succeed. If I truly can’t make a
decision I will tell the truth. “Sorry John. I’m not sure
if I will be at your party or not. I’ve got an outstanding
commitment. If that falls through, I will be here.
Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite.”

People respect honesty. So remove the word “try”
from your vocabulary. My dad also told me that
psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive
statements to offset one negative statement. I have
no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might
take up to seventeen compliments to offset the
emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when
raising children. Ask yourself how many compliments
you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms.
Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long.
We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you
shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, “I suck.
I’m fat. Nobody will like me. I’ll try this diet. I’m not
good enough. I’m so stupid. I’m broke, etc. etc.”

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with
one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming
you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal
dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.
Notice when you or other people use them.

But – negates any words that are stated before it.
If – presupposes that you may not.
Would have – past tense that draws attention to
things that didn’t actually happen.
Should have – past tense that draws attention to
things that didn’t actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Could have – past tense that draws attention to
things that didn’t actually happen but the person
tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Try – presupposes failure.
Might – It does nothing definite. It leaves options
for your listener.
Can’t / Don’t – These words force the listener
to focus on exactly the opposite of what you
want. This is a classic mistake that parents and
coaches make without knowing the damage of
this linguistic error.

Examples:

Toxic phrase: “Don’t drop the ball!”
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: “Catch the ball!”

Toxic phrase: “You shouldn’t watch so
much television.”
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: “I read too much television
makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning
that TV off and picking up one of those books more
often!”

Exercise: Take a moment to write down
all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic
self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write
these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself
as they occur and change them.

Listen Here:

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said that “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”

The irony is that most of us believe that fear protects us from harm, when the reality is that it often leads to controlling behaviors such as paranoia, narrow-mindedness and aggression.

We convince ourselves that the desire to control others is necessary to protect all, when in reality it displays a lack of faith in our own abilities to handle any situation – no matter what the outcome. The belief that fate is cruel often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, as we insist on resisting, rather than surrendering to life events.

Control freaks repeatedly suffer negative experiences, simply because they lack the belief that the universe is a good place that is constantly “on the upswing,” and therefore is naturally inclined to provide luck and opportunity as opposed to misery and threats.

Do you believe that life is inclined to flow correctly or do you think you have to control events because life flows against you?

For healthy individuals, the idea of “losing control” is actually associated with fun. Studies have shown that developing character traits such as flexibility, adaptability and optimism are concurrent with a greater incidence of good fortune in life.

Sadly, the typical control freak often achieves a public self image that is the opposite of what they are trying to achieve with their pretense of force and authority. They are often disliked by others and perceived as emotionally insecure, rather than as powerful people.

The desire to control is based on a fear of change and a conviction that all change is negative. This outworn defense mechanism is usually left over from a childhood where the individual may have learned the fine art of over-vigilance, due to a toxic or unpredictable parent. In adult-hood “necessary protection” becomes a paralyzing and self-defeating liability, as the control freak refuses to accept a certain, ages-old cosmic law — the more we attempt to manipulate or control events, the more they seem to control or manipulate us.

Control freaks actually have less control in the end.

The sages say, “The pain is in the struggle. The more we attempt to control, the more we lose our ability to manifest success.”

Evidence of this kind of self-sabotaging struggle is indicated by certain handwriting traits:

Primary Control Traits:

Does the writing look pretty and perfect? If so, then that person has a fear of not being perfect. Get it? If they exert that much time and precision to make the baseline straight and the letters all match – then they have a fear of things being “out of place.”

Controlling individuals are also over-concerned with detail and the way his or her writing appears on the page. Often, this is shown by making sure that each small i is capped very closely by its dot.

The writing may also express retentiveness in other ways: successive or repeated letters may be formed identically throughout the document with a particular emphasis on up and down strokes being identical. Each line of writing may appear super straight, as if a ruler underscored each line of the manuscript.

The above assessment is the “gestalt” or overall rhythm and look of the writing.

When you learn the level 5 “advanced trait stacking” method, you can identify complicated traits by stacking various strokes together. So often, a person might have control issues, even if they don’t have that one “domineering t-bar”. So, order the new DVD Advanced Course today and learn the advanced primary and stacked traits methods, read about it here

The following trait is a specific stroke: domineering.

A domineering personality will often cross their t‘s from left to right in a downward motion. If the t-bar is low on the stem – then you throw in low self-esteem and this compounds the insecurity.

If the t-bar dips to the right and into the baseline with a sharp point (sarcasm). . . watch out.

If the t-bar has a blunt ending the person is just dominant, not domineering. (domineering has negative connotations, dominant can just be a good type of control.)

An indication that you are dealing with a potential Hitler is if the t resembles a little stick figure man leaning to the side, trying to touch his right hand to his right toe. This reveals great instability and an individual that is not only his own worst enemy — he might become yours!

When it comes to dealing with your unconscious fears, “resistance really is futile.” Changing your handwriting can help you surrender those fears which lead to controlling and self-defeating behaviors that are unattractive to others and repel the kindness of fate.

Donna West -Contributing Editor

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